Being reserved and highly sensitive comes with gifts like being observant, empathetic and creative. However, it can cause ordinary situations to rapidly grow out of proportion because it also can come with anxiety, depression and a lot of insecurity. There’s a bizarre irony that one may be able to express themselves through art, writing or music with ease but relaying the same content in conversation is accompanied with legitimate physical and mental pain.
I’m one of those individuals and while it’s something that I’ve been working on improving since childhood, it’s nowhere near what society would call “acceptable”. I frequently find it extremely uncomfortable and nearly impossible to reveal my concerns with those I care about and those I don’t. There’s not discrimination either way. Often others will become irritated watching as I stumble to process my words into verbal form.
That’s why it’s so surprising whenever I encounter someone who genuinely cares about me being able to express myself while showing patience and kindness.
I spent a long time questioning the purpose of relationships with other people after being hurt. Cutting myself off from the world didn’t help make me feel better but rather created fear and new walls that I now no longer wish to hide behind. I’ve spent years trying to undo the damage but it takes even longer to overcome insecurities than to create them.
Regardless, I find the journey of relearning what it means to trust others to be quite fulfilling. There’s a weird innocence about the experimental process where you’re reintroducing yourself to familiar situations. You feel as if you are experiencing them for the first time despite having done so previously. Occasionally it triggers memories and those moments are even greater because there is an association with progress and restoration.
I’ve recently dealt with several situations where I had to express my feelings and make myself extremely vulnerable to an endless number of outcomes. While my head likes to explore all of those possibilities, I’m beginning to accept the fact that this isn’t always a useful thing and generally overthinking is never good. It’s not a groundbreaking revelation but it I’m glad that I’m starting to trust my instincts rather than getting lost in a web of thoughts.
Being in the moment is something that we’re told to do all the time but few actually bother to incorporate the concept into the way they live. I believe strongly in doing so and also including some form of gratitude into your daily routine. They are some of the best tools for breaking down walls and reaching contentment. Ultimately, there are those who will threaten and impair your ability to trust but don’t allow them to steal it from you. The world is a spectacular place. There are so many wonderful people. Change your perspective to witness the greatness.